How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
