New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
