Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
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This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
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banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.