I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
MIDGETS
????
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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