Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
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Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
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Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.