after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There's always time for handjobs
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
