is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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