so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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