the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize