Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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