Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
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so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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