Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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