why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
