take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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