There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
