i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
