Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
