I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
