are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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