I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
