This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
