Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
