Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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