This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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