I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
