I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
