and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
