His hands were made for my vagina.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
