She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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