We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
