you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
