Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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