I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
