i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
