I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
