People with herpes should wear stickers.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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