She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
