whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
