Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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