when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize