Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
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all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
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I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter