in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...