Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

this weekend will be like the season finale to my life

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.

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(231): View more from Michigan

you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?

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(775): View more from Nevada

If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka

Fav 9 1951 1035
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(512): View more from Texas

75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.

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