Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  420 ftw

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  (408): 420 ftw http://tfl.nu/c4kx
  Replies (16) Good night (1433) Bad night (581)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.

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  (314): I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket. http://tfl.nu/jhbx
  Replies (10) Good night (1178) Bad night (629)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience

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  (248): so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience http://tfl.nu/77ps
  Replies (16) Good night (812) Bad night (4260)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

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  (330): i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels http://tfl.nu/84kp
  Replies (16) Good night (1288) Bad night (5421)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

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  (202): no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow http://tfl.nu/mex5
  Replies (67) Good night (8636) Bad night (2127)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.

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  (612): If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting. http://tfl.nu/7l1r
  Replies (13) Good night (4566) Bad night (1475)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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  (847): Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins. http://tfl.nu/vi8m
  Replies (5) Good night (4353) Bad night (1156)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.

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  (901): i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation. http://tfl.nu/cktw
  Replies (5) Good night (1374) Bad night (2543)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"

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  (712): she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays" http://tfl.nu/bldx
  Replies (4) Good night (2500) Bad night (925)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.

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  (937): Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like. http://tfl.nu/1ho6
  Replies (14) Good night (1323) Bad night (3448)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.

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  (313): When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand. http://tfl.nu/rx8e
  Replies (13) Good night (927) Bad night (1902)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms

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  (719): I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms http://tfl.nu/gmys
  Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (353)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.

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  (570): They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America. http://tfl.nu/4pz5
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (301)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.

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  (561): Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/luvf
  Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (260)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.

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  (252): I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas. http://tfl.nu/0a74
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (328)

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