You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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