Texts From Last Night

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  (234): View more from Ohio

  if we break up, who will get the dealer?

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  (234): if we break up, who will get the dealer? http://tfl.nu/k5oc
  Replies (8) Good night (1413) Bad night (4340)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.

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  (228): I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too. http://tfl.nu/itca
  Replies (15) Good night (4144) Bad night (2324)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college

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  (778): I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college http://tfl.nu/2nnj
  Replies (13) Good night (4498) Bad night (1545)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up

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  (920): he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up http://tfl.nu/v5zl
  Replies (23) Good night (7967) Bad night (1045)
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  (818): View more from California

  He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.

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  (818): He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore. http://tfl.nu/r68q
  Replies (14) Good night (4049) Bad night (818)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  did i walk over a car last night?

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  (+61): did i walk over a car last night? http://tfl.nu/hd3i
  Replies (4) Good night (1978) Bad night (622)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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  (509): I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/prj3
  Replies (11) Good night (782) Bad night (3504)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am

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  (225): I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am http://tfl.nu/iw2h
  Replies (4) Good night (918) Bad night (1679)
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  (380): View more from Ohio

  She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time

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  (380): She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time http://tfl.nu/cp8c
  Replies (5) Good night (1126) Bad night (2563)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.

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  (804): You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday. http://tfl.nu/ureb
  Replies (5) Good night (1193) Bad night (439)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"

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  (727): I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe" http://tfl.nu/2m07
  Replies (7) Good night (1433) Bad night (636)
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  (949): View more from California

  i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want

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  (949): i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want http://tfl.nu/5io1
  Replies (10) Good night (386) Bad night (621)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.

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  (770): Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer. (770): Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand. http://tfl.nu/1fds
  Replies (7) Good night (853) Bad night (324)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something

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  (612): Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something http://tfl.nu/w0o2
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (264)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here

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  (630): and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby (1-630): Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted? (630): only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby. (1-630): Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here http://tfl.nu/fcdg
  Replies (2) Good night (283) Bad night (311)

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