Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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(443): remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing http://tfl.nu/zq5c

Replies (3) Good night (1878) Bad night (704)
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(214): View more from Texas

On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.

(1-214): View more from Texas

You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously

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(214): On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi. (1-214): You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously http://tfl.nu/z61a

Replies (29) Good night (913) Bad night (2396)
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(560): View more from

I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?

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(560): I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time? http://tfl.nu/wzlt

Replies (71) Good night (1182) Bad night (21540)
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(360): View more from Washington

I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood

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(360): I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood http://tfl.nu/vxnk

Replies (22) Good night (5202) Bad night (1558)
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(503): View more from Oregon

no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.

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(503): no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week. http://tfl.nu/b65a

Replies (14) Good night (1682) Bad night (1998)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa

(708): View more from Illinois

Oh Jesus.

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(219): Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa (708): Oh Jesus. http://tfl.nu/7sg2

Replies (9) Good night (2494) Bad night (899)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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(802): Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean http://tfl.nu/dmnd

Replies (9) Good night (1331) Bad night (879)
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(+61): View more from Australia

He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?

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(+61): He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday? http://tfl.nu/aaeg

Replies (5) Good night (1936) Bad night (1192)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.

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(412): I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing. http://tfl.nu/guzu

Replies (11) Good night (511) Bad night (806)
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(214): View more from Texas

I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"

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(214): I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy" http://tfl.nu/b3zm

Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (899)
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(631): View more from New York

Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"

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(631): Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet" http://tfl.nu/2suf

Replies (12) Good night (1145) Bad night (442)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.

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(781): You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/nrl0

Replies (11) Good night (1509) Bad night (484)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.

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(307): Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS. http://tfl.nu/6kx3

Replies (8) Good night (1444) Bad night (460)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time

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(616): I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time http://tfl.nu/iio9

Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (252)
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(561): View more from Florida

He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.

(770): View more from Georgia

So it may have been laced, sue me.

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(561): He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming. (770): So it may have been laced, sue me. http://tfl.nu/joyn

Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (278)

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