you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
