AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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