What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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