I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
