Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
