Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
