I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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