i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
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it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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