I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
