I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
is it fun? or sober?
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