whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
