Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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