I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
