This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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