you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
