he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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