The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
