i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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