There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
