currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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