stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
