I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You just made me feel so damn special
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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