Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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